OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight was probably the best night I've had here! We went to dinner at Carol's house (which is a stunning experience unto itself) and met a group of students from Canada who are studying poverty and development in Mexico. THANK GOD!! I finally met people I can make a connection with...
Okay...I have to be honest with myself here...my experience here in Mexico so far has been nowhere near as life-altering or exciting or fulfilling as I had expected. Sitting here tonight talking to these girls, I felt like theirs was the program I was meant to be on. Here I sit in Cuernavaca, learning Spanish, yes. But really...I've been here for a month and I feel like I haven't really experienced life here at all...I still feel like I'm masquerading under this guise of happiness and awe that really isn't a reality for me. I haven't started growing roots here yet...I don't feel like I belong here. I haven't made real human connections with anyone here except for the VAMOS kids. Tonight, seeing these five women and how close they are and how warm and inviting they seem just made me realize how much I've been lacking that sense of companionship in my life in Cuernavaca. I'm lonely...and only now can I admit it because I feel like there is a very good chance that the loneliness will die within the next few days.
Anyway, enough of the sentiments...they invited us to Tepoztlan tomorrow and I am SO excited. Why has it been so difficult to encounter people who want to GO OUT AND DO THINGS here? I don't know...but just like that, life can turn itself upside down. I kept trying to have faith these past few weeks as I've been feeling a little lonely...have "fe" that things will get better, that I will experience that awe and transcendent loveliness of Mexico again...and now I feel like it's coming...I've met some people that THINK and STRIVE to understand and make sense of their world, people who radiate energy like the energy humming within me.
Maggie,
ResponderEliminarThis blog is wonderful! I'm so glad you enjoyed our company as much we enjoyed yours.
In every individual there is magic and beauty and excitement and sometimes accompanying those things are feelings of loneliness and being uncomfortable. The fact that you are in Mexico means you are taking the right steps to get over those unwanted feelings. Just like us, there is something inside you that made you take this journey and sometimes in doing something great you must experience some things that are not so great. Hang in there. You radiate the same energy that you saw in us and possess the same passions for living and learning and growth.
Every day is an adventure and by the sounds of it you're doing well! Something I often think about is the people in my life who I look up to and admire and I think about how often I tell those people how much they actually influence me.... which is next to never.
Just because you don't think you're doing great things doesn't mean you aren't and just because your adventure isn't as picturesque as you may have hoped doesn't mean it isn't amazing! Keep smiling and keep exploring and I have faith you will find whatever it is you are looking for :)
Love your friends from Canada,
Michelle, Chrissy and Lynne. xoxoxox
Dear Maggie;
ResponderEliminarI can't believe how one chance meeting has brought us together. I'm very happy we met, I don't know what I would do without our adventures. We've had lots already and I know there's going to be more to come. It's nice to have someone to talk with and depend on in a strange and foriegn country and I know your one of those people.
Always got your back.
OMG you guys are great :)
ResponderEliminarTHANKS!