Buscando...

I guess it's time that I adress politics. I'm hesitant to write anything about what we've been learning in class because I'm not sure where I stand. Learning about AMLO last week was intriguing to me...but I feel like the more I learn about Mexican politics, the more confused I become. From the movie, I got the sense of "good guy" being AMLO and "bad guy" being Calderon. I know where you (Carol) and Charlie stand on the election fraud, but I can't say in good conscience that I agree completely.

Before I go any further, let me state clearly that the election fraud in itself is completely "wrong" (I hate using that word...I mean "wrong" in the context of our system of values.) and inexcusable. I do know without a doubt that I disagree with the way in which Calderon came to power. I don't know much about him and his politics, except that he's conservative and thus considered to be against "the people." I think I have trouble grappling with this because I come from a very conservative background and have learned that there are merits to each political ideology. I think both Carol and Charlie described AMLO as the "conscience of the people," and that phrase immediately sent warning bells off in my brain. In Fraude it seemed that AMLO was dangerously close to creating a "cult of personality," and no matter how much one claims to be "for the people," I have a problem with one person being glorified to that extent. I know nothing about AMLO's true intentions...I'm sure it is very likely that he only desires to improve the lives of his people, and I mean no offense to anyone who supports him.

That said, something about the film just didn't sit right with me. I don't know what to believe. It's so frustrating for me not to know where I stand on politics. I feel that I'm pretty much a conservative on economic issues and a liberal on social issues. At the same time, I feel that my beliefs are constantly being challenged and reforged...and I suppose the problem is that I want answers and truth...and they are most likely unobtainable. Our culture of dualism gets in the way of everything...we think in dualistic terms of right and wrong, "good guy" and "bad guy" while all the while in the back of our minds we know it's not that simple. We want simplicity because it helps us make sense of our world...it gives us a framework for formulating beliefs and behavior. But just because we place two things in opposite categories doesn't mean they ARE inherently opposite. I can't place AMLO on a pedestal and dismiss Calderon as a criminal. UGH I'm not expressing this as clearly as I want to...but I don't know how better to explain what I'm thinking. I guess it's just that I can't embrace AMLO or Calderon. I can't pick a side. Maybe within the next few months I will discover where I stand on Mexican politics...now is just too early.