Lidia

I just came across this blog which I wrote while I was studying abroad in Cuernavaca, Mexico. I hesitated to publish it then because it deals with some things that were going on in my host family's house, and I didn't want to rock the boat. However, here I am over a year later and I want to share how I felt about Lidia...

April 2010

This past week has been positively a crucible...(I hope I'm using that word correctly) I don't know where to begin to piece everything together. I know it must fit somehow.

I guess today I just better pick one teeney element and stick to it. Otherwise my brain quite possibly might shatter into a million pieces.

Lately I've been struggling to understand the relationship between Lidia (our housekeeper) and the Peraltas. Lidia is my age, in fact we were born two days apart--I could comment on the irony of how our lives are parallel and yet completely divergent, but that's another blog. The question for tonight is...what is Lidia's "place" within the Peralta household, and to what extent is the relationship between Lidia and the Peraltas representative of the larger social hierarchy in Mexico?

Lidia is quiet and timid, at least as I have seen her working in the house. She walks lightly and speaks little, so our friendship has been a gradual one. Last week, I returned from my first visit to Jardin Revolucion disappointed that all the grass was fenced off and complained to Lidia that I miss the landscape of my home. Her face lit up as she described to me a nearby park with grass in abundance--one of her favorite places. After timid suggestions on both ends, we finally met in the middle and decided that we would go to said park together on Sunday, her only day off. I'd been trying for weeks to convince Lidia to come out with us at night, but she always insisted for some reason or other that she couldn't, so this was a great leap forward. Not two minutes after my triumph however, Lidia turned to me and whispered, "Es un secreto." I asked her why and all she would tell me is that Hortensia wouldn't like it if she knew Lidia and I went out together. Later, she confessed to me that she and Jodi had also spent time together on her Sundays off, and that that had also been their "secreto." I was puzzled. It seemed positively medeival that an employer would have any say in a housekeeper's personal life. But I agreed to keep our excursion a secret. On Saturday morning I realized that I wouldn't see Lidia again before our planned outing, so I tiptoed downstairs with a note in hand asking when and where we should meet. I felt a little ridiculous sneaking around behind Hortensia's back as if I were doing something wrong, but I wanted to respect Lidia's wishes. Hortensia was on the phone in the living room, so I crept past her into the kitchen and presented my note to Lidia. She whispered that I should call her the next morning and started writing down her phone number. Hortensia finished her call and made her way over to the kitchen, at which point Lidia stuffed the note into my hand, practically chucked the pen at me, letting it clatter to the floor, turned her back and started pumping furiously at the orange juicer. I was a bit shocked, and a bit irritated at myself for feeling guilty...we weren't doing anything wrong...we're two adult women who can come and go as we please. Yet Lidia's frantic reaction revealed that she must truly fear Hortensia's reaction.

I think I know what is going on, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. I would make this conclusion because it's what I've been told over an over about Mexico: that the social classes are very demarcated and separate, and that discrimination from the top down is not uncommon. Even so, I want Lidia to TELL me point blank that Hortensia doesn't want her associating with me because we're of different social classes. I'm tired of guessing and assuming I know the way things are. I want to hear it from Lidia, but I don't think she'll come right out and say it, and I don't want to pressue her. Honestly, it pisses me off that Lidia is in this situation, and that Hortensia holds that much sway over her personal life. It's none of Hortensia's business.